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DIFFERENT FORMS OF ABUSE
Domestic violence does not always look the same in every relationship.
Abuse can happen to and be perpetuated by anyone regardless of gender, age, or sexuality.
However, one constant aspect of abuse is the abuser's desire to gain and maintain control over their partner.
Red Flags:
Emotional manipulation
Using isolation methods
Using gender as a leverage
Using intimidation tactics
Using coercion and threats
Restricting economic resources
Manipulation via vulnerabilities
Minimizing, denying, and blaming
PHYSICAL ABUSE
Physical abuse is the most recognized form of domestic violence as the marks left can be easily seen.
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Forcing You to Use Drugs/Alcohol
Throwing Objects at You or Near You
Hitting, Kicking, Biting, Choking, Etc.
Abandoning You in Unfamiliar Places
Harming Your Family, Friends, Or Pets
Driving Recklessly with You in The Car
Not Allowing You to Eat, Sleep, Sit, Etc.
Trapping You/Keeping You from Leaving
Not Allowing You to Contact or Receive Emergency Services
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EMOTIONAL ABUSE
Emotional and verbal manipulation is another form of abuse that is often times considered more painful than physical abuse by many survivors.
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damaging your belongings
monitoring all of your activities
criticizing and insulting you constantly
controlling what you wear or how you act
telling you that no one else will want you
isolating you from your friends and family
cheating on you or accusing you of cheating
overly jealous, possessive, untrusting of you
gaslighting you; trying to make you feel like you’re crazy
bullying and humiliating you, especially in front of others
blaming you for everything; everything is always your fault
SEXUAL ABUSE
You do not have a duty to provide sexual favors just because you are in a relationship with someone. You're consent, boundaries, and feelings matter regardless of if it is the 1st or the 101st time.
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Forcing you to dress inappropriately
Forcing you to watch or make pornography
Purposefully giving/attempting to give you an STI
Performing sexual acts that were not consented to
Not wearing a condom when it was initially agreed upon
Insulting you in sexual ways or calling you explicit names
Involving other individuals in sexual activities without your consent
Forcing or manipulating you into having sex or performing sexual activities
FINANCIAL ABUSE
Financial extortion and restriction is another form of abuse that is used often in domestic violence relationships to gain power and control over the other individual.
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Living with You and Refusing to Pay Their Way
Stealing Money from You, Your Family, Or Your Friends
Controlling Finances and Only Giving You an Allowance
Not Allowing You to Have Knowledge of Bank Accounts and Bills
Getting Credit Cards/Bills in Your Name Without Your Permission
Having Your Check Deposited into An Account You Don’t Have Access To
Not Allowing to Further Your Education So You Can Get or Progress A Career
Preventing You from Being Able to Get or Maintain A Job; Limiting The Hours You Can Work
ONLINE/DIGITAL ABUSE
Online or digital abuse is another form of verbal or emotional abuse when the abuser victimizes an individual via technology and the internet to bully, harass, stalk, intimidate, or control another.
Sending you negative, insulting, or threatening messages
Using technology to monitor your activities and movements
Insulting or humiliating you publicly via their posts or statuses
Sending or pressuring you to send explicit photos, videos, or sexts
Stealing or demanding access to social media accounts and passwords
Controlling who you can or can’t follow or be friends with on social media
Constantly going through your phone’s contents including messages, pictures, phone calls
Pretending to be you by creating fake social media accounts to message other people in order to embarrass or isolate you
REPRODUCTIVE COERCION
Reproductive coercion is a form of power and control that an abuser uses as leverage over their partner, taking away their ability to make decisions regarding their own reproductive system.
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Lying About the Use of Birth Control Methods
Monitoring Menstrual Cycles and Ovulation Cycles
Refusing to Use Condoms or Other Forms of Birth Control
Intentionally Becoming Pregnant/Getting Partner Pregnant
Breaking/Removing a Condom Before Sex or Refusing to Pull Out
Keeping You Pregnant by Getting You Pregnant Shortly After You Give Birth
Forcing Pregnancy or Not Respecting Partner’s Decision About if or When to Have Children
STALKING
Stalking is defined as an abuser watching, following, or harassing you repeatedly to a point that you are afraid and feel as though you are unsafe. A stalker can be anyone: someone you know, a past partner, an acquaintance, or a stranger.
Calling You and Hanging Up Repeatedly
Waiting Around at Places You Frequent
Vandalizing and Damaging Your Property
Spreading Rumors About You Online or In Person
Hiring A Private Investigator to Follow or Find You
Sending You Unwanted Messages, Letters, or Gifts
Randomly Showing Up at Your Home, Workplace, Social Activities
Making Unwanted Phone Calls to You, Your Employer, Your Family, or Your School
Manipulating Other People into Investigating You [EX: Having Someone Befriend You On Social Media So They Can Monitor You Through Them]